Grand scheme of things

Even though I feel like in our meeting I was totally thrown under the bus, I do feel like the tension has melted at work.  I am just using that meeting as a reset point personally when dealling with my coworkers.  Part of me does have some resentment but I know if I cannot move forward from it, things will never get better and we will all just be stuck in an endless cycle of back biting and bitchyness.  And I am over it.  We just need to come together as a team.  And if I had to take all the blame, I guess so be it.  That is how it played out.  I am going to have to except it and move foward.

My husband on the other had is furious.  He cannot believe I was treated that way and thinks I should tell everyone to go to hell and let the owner fire me.  That is just not acceptable.  I was not raised that way.  I do not want the shame and embarrassment that goes along with a firing.  Plus I am good at what I do.  I get paid really well.  I drive 7 miles vs. up to 45 to the city.  No thank you.  He thinks I am letting them walk all over me and that I am not standing up for myself.  I think, the economy is still in the toilet and jobs are still scarce and I better just suck it up for now.

IF something comes along, I might take it.  I might go part time...who knows.  He reciently became partner at his company.  We are business owners now.  That is something I never thought I would say.  So we are busier with that.  I do alot of computer stuff for them.

I know things will work out.  It can only get better from here.  Our new manager starts in March.  It is a woman.  I hope she is not a bitch!

Why?

So if you f*ck up and order the wrong drug in and add it in to inventory and I fix it then don't cop some bull shit attitude with me because you messed up. Ever.  I will let it pass one time.  Next time I will school you very harshly and you may cry.  I am over dealing with bitch attitudes all the time.

Our PIC and only full time Pharmacist quit so that will be interesting.  In one week, hopefully we have a replacement.  I hope we get a old vetern that will not take any shit from these bitches.  I am so over it.

Pharmacy Customs

Every month we have a food day to celebrate everyones birthdays that month.  It is usually pot luck.  Sometimes we have a theme, sometimes not.  I have a really hard time with these events because I have OCD pretty bad.  I know most of my coworkers are clean.  I can tell by their personal hygine.  But their level of clean and my level of clean are different. 

I have struggled with these events since the get go.  I am usually the last to eat so I can pick at the food and eat very little if I feel it is questionable.  This is not something I can help.  This is not me being a jerky catty female.  This is me dealing with something I have struggled with since childhood.

I have been seen and treated with antidepressants for my OCD without much luck.  It just made me kinda numb to the other parts of my life so we discontinued them.  I now just deal with them.  Since my stroke, some aspects of my OCDs have improved.  Cracks in sidewalks/streets don't bother me.  Little wierd things like that have gotten better.  But I still have some major obsession issues like if I wake up in the middle of the night, I cant just go back to sleep with out reading first. I read over 250 books last year.  (This causes alot of lost sleep.)  I sometimes compulsively wash my clothing twice just so I know it is clean.  I smell it before I dry it.  I only use tide.  No sketchy cheap stuff.  Only use Bounce.  No sketchy cheap dryer sheets.  My husband is useless and only gets to was his own clothes.  He knows I will rewash my own.  If I use silverware at other peoples houses I almost always rewash it. (I dont trust them.)

I can stand my clutter in my home library.  But I cannot stand clutter at work or any where else around my home.  It suffocates me.

Anyways, back to the topic.  Sketchy food.  Who to trust.  And people make some wierd stuff too.  Then they wanna pass out their recipes like they have a gem. Guh!  The owner made some wierd cheese ball.  I sat next to her so I had to eat some but I have no clue what kind of cheese it was.  Wierd. I might be sick the next food day.